Monday, February 9, 2015


The other day I realized, with some surprise, that it was February. February!

What's so surprising about that? you may wonder.  

Usually, there is nothing surprising about February.

But it wasn't really February, the month, I was realizing.

It was the fact that we've made it this far!

We've made it to 33 weeks, and beyond, in relatively normal pregnancy fashion.

You see, back when I found out that I had placenta previa, and did some research on it, and got referred to an OB specialist, I really wondered how long we would go.  Without a serious bleeding incident.  Or before I was put on bed rest.  Or had to call the ambulance and spend a few nights in the hospital.

I thought for sure that by February, I would be on bed rest.  That I'd have to have someone near all time, just in case.

I figured I would be like a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off.

But it's February!  Just 25 days til the baby is delivered.  We've made it this far!

The planner (okay, control freak) in me stressed greatly over the whole third trimester before it even began. 

I wasn't sure what to do about the homeschool co-op, as I lead it and teach two classes.  I wasn't sure if we could proceed in the new semester.

I vowed not to lift anything heavy, including nursery kiddos at church.

I decided not to venture far from home, as it just wasn't safe.

I prayed a lot about how on earth to approach this precarious season in my life.  I didn't want to stand still, paralyzed by fear. But I also didn't want to over commit and over stress myself.

But then I realized, life just had to go on.  My doctor gave me no major restrictions regarding my activity level.  (My mom didn't want me to mop my floors before Christmas.  So I asked my doctor if it was okay.  He said normal, every day activities were just fine.)  I decided that I would proceed with life as normal, anticipating the best, but ready to make big modifications if I had to.

And here it is February. We're about to have our Valentine's Day party at co-op on Friday.  No bleeding.  No drama.

All I can say is, God is so good.

Because when I read the real-life stories of previa pregnancies, there is usually drama, sometimes even before the third trimester, and almost always when you hit 30 weeks.  Of course, every story is different, and I haven't read of one story not turning out well in the end, but we have made it further than most without incident.

And I'm so thankful.  And hopeful that we'll keep counting down, 25... 24... 23...22... all the way to B-day, when our baby boy will be born safe and sound.

It is so like me to want to stand still in fear.  To hold back based on the "what-ifs" in life.  But I'm learning to keep moving.  Even with the little things.  Even if I'm still afraid.

February might still hold some surprises... but each day is another day closer to March 6th!