Saturday, November 29, 2014

Peace is the Sweetest

It's been a month since I updated my last post regarding our baby and my placenta previa.  On one hand, I am so private and feel guilty "talking" about it, but on the other hand, I feel like this is a developing story that needs to be shared... because I am fully expecting that the Lord is going to be faithful beyond anything I can imagine. And I want it to be known.

I am not old, just 36, but "older" and having my fourth child.  While lots of women are having their first child around this age, having a fourth child is what many  might consider crazy. Especially when I have three that are already "healthy" and "normal".  Honestly, I thought we were done, but I'm so glad we're not.  Our baby boy is due March 28th.  All along I have prayed that this pregnancy would bring glory to God. I think that is a great and honorable prayer. Especially because I knew that though I wanted it to glorify God by way of healthy exuberance on my part, vibrancy, energy, glowing skin and hair, and joy abounding... I realized in the inner recesses that this pregnancy just  might glorify the Lord by way of some unwanted circumstances.  And that is what the placement of the placenta over my cervix is.

Last week, I met my new doctor and had another sonogram.  I have a new doctor because the previous one is only a general practitioner who delivers babies, but is unable to do c-sections.  I need the care of a full-fledged OB.  I have to confess that I was never fully at peace with the other doctor or delivering at a different hospital than the one where I had the other three.  I fell in love with my new OB immediately (HUGE for me!) and I have so much more peace knowing that I will deliver at the same hospital I am used to.  I have had three all natural, no drug births. I've never seen the inside of an OR.  I don't like the idea of it, but it is the reality.  There is also an amazing NICU on site in case we need it.

The sonogram I just had at 22 weeks reveals a placenta still fully covering the os ("opening") and both the sonographer and the doctor do not feel confident it will move.  So from this point on we consider this pregnancy high risk.  I will start receiving steroids for the baby's lungs at 28 weeks and the doctor plans to deliver the baby between 36 and 37 weeks to avoid preterm labor or serious drama like hemorrhage... and we pray none of that happens before then.

So that is the update, so far.  I have heard stories of the placenta moving completely as late as 36 weeks, so it is possible, but we want to be prepared if it doesn't.

I suppose all of that information could be bad news. But here is the good news:

I have complete peace. The kind the Bible describes as "surpassing all understanding".  When faced with all the facts and potential scenarios of what could happen as this pregnancy progresses, I could be scared out of my mind.  But I am not.  I have moments of worry and concern.  But then the peace comes.  I know that the Lord is with me and that He has this completely under control. I even had this image of HIS hands delivering our baby, pulling him from the womb.  How did I know it was HIS hands in this dream or vision?  I just knew.  It is the Lord's hands that are going to bring this child into the world.  And we are always safe in his hands.

It is the sweetest, most precious thing to have in a situation like this. Peace.

It's all I really need.

It doesn't mean my little guy won't arrive early and have to be in the NICU. It doesn't mean the placenta will move after all. It doesn't mean I won't go through some things I'd rather not go through. It just means that no matter what, He is there and He is in this.

We hear a lot about peace on Earth this time of year.  And I think we'd all agree that there is no global peace on Earth. There isn't even peace in our own nation these days.  But peace with God through his Son Jesus Christ and the peace that surpasses understanding when everything around is uncertain... that is here on Earth, in our hearts as we trust in Him.

We still very much covet your prayers for me and for our baby.  I confess I have no idea how prayer works but I know it changes things and it is especially changes us.  When I pray, I see God working more than when I don't. And I don't think it's because he's not at work if I don't pray, I think it just makes me more mindful of all he IS doing when I do pray.

May God bless YOU with peace, too.  Stay tuned for the rest of the story.

 "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7