In our many conversations about moving, she looked to me for advice and encouragement. I often felt inadequate to give either one, at least positive advice or encouragement. After all, we had moved in part because of necessity, but certainly at the call of God to go. They were going out of desire. They were choosing this move with arms wide open. Paradise was calling. And as I looked around at my life a year and a half after our move, it seemed anything but paradise.
It was loneliness.
It was discouragement.
It was the daily wondering, "Why are we here?".
I wanted to be of value to her during this exciting time, but I felt too disillusioned by my own experience to count for anything.
But this is one thing I remember saying, truth from the very depths of my own experience, my own walk with God over the past 15 years.
But then there are the times when none of the puzzle pieces seem to fit. The details of life don't lend themselves to the big picture you imagined. Every day is just hard. Or just monotonous. Or just confusing. The desires of your heart are seemingly beyond reach. Or maybe you've even forgotten what they are. Even in these times, God is still good. Even these times are his perfect love toward us. These are the times our roots go down deep and make us stronger, even when our leaves seem to be withering like the last days of autumn. Even in these times, we praise Him because he is good. We praise him as we walk by faith.
And it's those hard times that make the good times so much better.
I remember how faithful and good God was when he fit all the pieces together for us to move. Our house sold. Our new house, he saved for us til we could buy it. There were so many steps along the way that showed his hand in our lives and in the great change we were going through. Six months later, reality set in. I knew it would. It was over a year before we made our first real, close friends. So many things have not been easy or fallen into place.
But there have been the glorious moments of God's goodness among the more subtle ones. Right now, we embrace one of those moments. We try to live fully in the day we are given as we go to places we've never gone and see faces we've missed. We embrace these moments even as we pray to embrace the ones we will return to. The ones not so sunny, not so exciting, yet still full of the goodness and love of God.