June 22, 2013

My sweet little promised one.

Two years ago, God whispered a promise in my ear as I read 2 Kings 4.

"About this time next year... you will hold a son in your arms." vs 16

This sounds sort of mystic, perhaps, or maybe you know just what I am talking about. When God speaks to you.

In this verse, the prophet Elisha is speaking to a woman from Shunam.  She and her husband had built a little apartment for him to stay in when he was travelling through and he wanted to do something kind for her in return. She asked for nothing, but Elisha's servant mentioned that she had no children.  And no doubt the Lord told Elisha, I'm going to give her a son.  Tell her.

A couple thousands of years later, God's Word spoke the same promise to me.  Like the Shunamite woman, who said "Don't mislead your servant, O man of God!", I wondered for over a year if the Lord really had promised me this.

I had decided to leave it in my husband's hands, for one. I prayed that if this was true, he would be the one to say, "Hey girl, let's have a baby."  I tentatively broached the subject maybe twice, but got very little feedback from him.  So I let it go. 

And I wondered if I was just being a little emotional about this whole promise.

Because just a month before the Lord even spoke these words to me, I really had no desire for another child.  We had lost a baby at 12 weeks in late summer of 2011.  That baby was a complete surprise, coming at an extremely difficult time for us as we were in limbo waiting for our house to sell so the whole family could move to be with Josh near his new job.  The loss was very difficult physically and emotionally, and I vowed I would never ever go through it again.  We both felt our family was complete.

But at a ladies retreat that year, the Lord began to stir things up in me.  At first, I just surrendered and said "Okay, Lord, if you want us to have another child, I will. But I don't want any more."  Within a week, everything I was reading, circumstances around me, so many things were softening my heart and making me say "Yes, Lord, I do want another child."

 I remember thinking "But we don't even  have the crib anymore!  All our baby stuff is gone!" And thinking we so didn't have a plan!  But also thinking, who cares?  

Last spring, I started running outside.  I would pray and dream for this baby. I would doubt that I really heard God right. But deep inside I knew I had.

So strong on my heart was this truth: that the only thing we could possibly carry into the next life with us is our children. Everything else would be left behind. And Josh agreed.  And then... we got pregnant.

I look at this little boy of ours, the son God promised me two years ago today, and I am just blown away that He speaks to us.  And that He puts desires in our heart and then fulfills them.  I am reminded how personal He is.  And this promise fulfilled gives me hope that the others not yet fulfilled... one day will be.