Pregnancy seemed so long. I was happy to deliver Baby B three weeks early, just to be done with the giant belly that prevented me from bending over, from sleeping, from normal digestion. And now, a week out of pregnancy and into being mama to a newborn, I think "It wasn't so bad." And it wasn't. But it does still seem long.
Here we are. Healing from the c-section. Still in various degrees of being sore. Sweating profusely every night and waking up freezing (this is normal for me after giving birth). Trying to find something that fits. Sleeping like a rock- hallelujah!
It's been an emotional week. Discouragement on day two because I felt so much discomfort. Elation when my baby was sleeping skin-to-skin. Crying and laughing at the same time on Monday night because the postpartum emotions were overflowing as wildly as my milk was coming in. I have come to know it and expect it after four babies... and it makes everything feel like too much. It is hilarious at the same time as it is real.
I've shed some tears this week. I've got a five-year-old that has been just a wee bit naughty since baby brother came home. I can't seem to follow a recipe anymore, as evidenced by two fails making pies for Pi Day (3.14.15). And one pie was a kit from a box. My family went to church in a snowstorm without me and I cried, thinking they'd be killed in a car accident and that would be the end of our newly begun, precious family of six.
It may all be irrational, and that is to be expected. I just had a baby, after all. I am elated, on cloud-nine, blown away by the miracle of this little life entrusted to us. And then hiding in my room, crying about something I saw on Facebook. I've used nursing pads to wipe my tears. I've laughed at my first "christening" by Baby B. I've looked lovingly at the drawings stuck to the refrigerator and looked the other way at the Lego mess.
My first full day home, I wrote myself some reminders regarding this postpartum season, and I am publishing them here to re-remind myself of them.
-Be easy on yourself.
- This body will take time to heal and to recover.
- Don't worry about your size and weight and clothes right now.
- But try to feel pretty.
-Take time off from all the "shoulds" and responsibilities.
- Take time to bond with each child.
-Take time to bond with Josh.
-Seek God everyday for even one verse to dwell on.
-It's okay to cry and be a ball of emotion.
- Anything outside your family doesn't matter right now.
-Take breaks.
-Don't multi-task too much.
-Eat to nourish your body; not to lose weight. You and your baby need nutrition right now, not a diet.
-Say "yes" to any offers of help.
Pregnancy and the postpartum period are vulnerable times. We tend to want to overlook that fact as a culture. We want to be the Superwoman who leaves the hospital in her pre-pregnancy clothes. We want to juggle the responsibilities of home, work, and a new baby without dropping the balls. We want to look like we got a great night sleep. We want to resume all our previous commitments. All of this is most likely because of the pressure we feel from the outside.
It's a time to rest and be taken care of, as long as anyone is offering. And if no one is offering, it's time to put our feet up and take a nap with the baby on our chest, put in a tray of chicken nuggets and fries, and let the older kiddos watch a movie.
This time will fly by. Superwoman can wait.
I'm bookmarking this post, it's so encouraging to me even beyond the postpartum period!! Love you Stephanie!
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