Lessons From the Father to the Mama

How often I find God using this thing called motherhood to teach me more about Him and more about myself. While he uses each of my children, there is one particularly that seems to teach me the greatest lessons. Perhaps because we are so much alike in our personalities. Introverts, pessimists (oy!), sensitive.

Recently this fall I had promised my children to give them each a dollar or so if they helped to clean up the yard. We have apples and pears that drop off the tree and need to be picked up and composted, sticks that need to go to the brush pile, and leaves to be raked. As one worked, I heard the continuous lament that "I'll work and work and work but I won't get any dollars!". I tried to cheer this kiddo on, promising over and over that yes, I would pay just as I said. Met with continued negativity, I got more and more frustrated. And sad too. "Why don't you believe me when I say I will do something?" my voice quivered even in its annoyance.

Immediately, that still small voice spoke to me. "Why don't you believe Me when I say I will do something?" I was cut to the heart. God had been giving me several promises over and over as of late, and I continued to worry and fret about my situation anyway. He was promising to do exceedingly abundantly above all I could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20 ). He was promising strength if I would be quiet and rest in him- but I would have none of it (Isaiah 30:15).

The most recent teachable moment (my own!) was last night. For some reasons the worries and fears that plagued me this fall came rushing back in. All of the what-ifs and wonderings about what is going to happen. Though we have heard a continuous instruction to "wait" (Isaiah 30:18), I began to worry if waiting was the best thing after all.

I was sad and felt the weight of this worry as we sat down to watch a Christmas movie together. The movie was cute, involved puppies, orphans, and a mean lady (think Mrs. Hannigan from Annie) who destroyed any toys she found amongst the orphan girls. While the movie was easily predictable to Josh and I, my sensitive child had so much difficulty watching the movie. Tears, worry, and angst about the toys being destroyed, the mean lady, and the puppy made the movie less cute and enjoyable for this kiddo. While it seemed silly to Josh and I, again God spoke to my heart. I wrapped this sensitive-one in my arms and said "It's scary when we don't know what's going to happen, isn't it?" Which was my own problem at the moment. And He reminded me that just as this cute little Christmas movie was so predictable to me, so is my own personal situation to Him right now. He knows exactly what is going to happen, he's not worried about it, and it's going to turn out good (Jeremiah 29:11). I loved watching the angst turn to joy in my kiddo's eyes when the movie ended happily ever after.

Learning to have joy before the happily ever after is just a part of the faith-walk I am on right now.

I am so thankful for these children of mine. The Lord uses them so tenderly to teach me more about his amazing love as a Father to me.